What is the dumbest or craziest lie you ever told, and why?

 

Had someone believing claustrophobia was the fear of Santa clause lol. I knew she was gullible and would believe me if I really sold the lie.

 

I have a 3 foot tongue and can breathe through my ears as an opening line to get into their cyber panties

 

I was out with a girlfriend at a bar and we were being approached by guys left and right. And we kept getting asked the same questions over and over. So we just started lying and making up shit. I told everyone for the rest of the night that I was the girl who played Cinderella at Disneyland in the parade of lights. Then I stood up and showed everyone my Cinderella “wave”….the one I did from my stagecoach. People applauded

 

Told my niece when she was younger that I was the CEO of Pepsi. It was due to me constantly drinking it at the time. Literally, I would buy 6 packs of it when it was on sale. For the long period of time, she always believed me. It was funny till I finally told her it was a lie.

Now I no longer even drink soda at all.

 

I tell my clients we will be finishing projects on time.

 

As a teenager, still livin at home, the folks came down on me and my brother for staying out all night. That a phone call , so they won't worry, needs to be protocol.
So a few days later around 3 am, my brother did as he always did. Set me up, drunk on my ass, he handed me the phone and said I needed to call. Being the thinker I am, especially when drunk, I would turn it around on him. Mom answers the phone, I go hey Mom not making it home Jimmys drunk and can't stand up. The uproar of laughter from the other drunks, drounded out the words of my understanding Mom.
I guess the folks got use to worrying, didn't here anything about calling again.
We really put Mom though hell, she never deserved it, but dealt with it like the true awsome person she was. This one is mild, no one went to jail or the hosptil, still makes me smile, even feeling shitty for it.

 

I told someone my name was Frank and later when she started calling me Frank I was like who the fuck is she talking to

 

My wife asked me what the full page pic of @Cherrypop's avatar was, and I told her it was an artists representation of the twin moons of some planet I was writing a short story about.

It's cold sleeping on the couch.

 

Tied a rope to a three, the goal was doing a tarzan swing between houses. Told my friend it was completely safe!!
he broke his arm..

The we are lesbians lie. At bars to make them leave us alone

 

I told a lot of people I gaged Linda Lovelace

 

I once told a gold digging ex-girlfriend that I recieved an insurance settlement that was so big I'd never have to work again. She wanted to see me again... heh, heh, heh...
Ain't life grand.

 

Yup

 

When I was a teenager, I was invited to Prom by a guy I REALLY didn’t like. I turned him down as politely as I could, but he said he wouldn’t take no for an answer. (He was a pompous ass!) Even though I disliked him, I didn’t want to get nasty because his mom and my mom were friends. I must have politely declined a dozen times, but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I finally told him that I couldn’t go because if I spent my money on a prom dress, shoes, etc, I wouldn’t have enough money to support my coke habit. He was clearly at a loss for words. He walked away silently and never brought it up again.

 

When I lived in Charleston, SC there was a gay bar (probably more than one, but I referring to a specific one) where what were referred to back then as "fag hags" liked to go.
There were two types.
A) The ones who wanted to go out dancing without some guy trying to get in their pants at the end of the night.
&
B) The ones who were convinced that a man who preferred other men over women, just hadn't met the "right" woman.
They were fairly well despised by the gay men.
Those were the women I and a few friends would target.
We would go to that bar after a night out and probably 3 out of 5 times, we could find some of those women who thought we could be converted if we gave them a chance.
That's the short version but I'm sure you get the gist of it.

 

Probably "I love you too."

 

Nina: "I've never done this before. I swear!"

Some people don't want to hear that not only are they not your first, they're not even your first that day.

 

So we went to the library and when we came out these tough guys beat me up.

 

The 2 biggest lies ever. 1 I promise not to cum in your mouth 2 I'm sorry I didn't mean to put it in your asshole!!!!