I'm in a weird place in my head and outside it. Can we find the help we need or are we doomed, following a broken road?

 

for us in australia, today is R U OK day.
i ask you, are you ok ? i am not an expert in this field, but if you are having trouble, please contact a recognised health organisation.
Keep Smiling.
i didnt watch the video before replying

 

I used to continuously, throughout the day, have suicidal and homicidal ideation. It was a very long 6 years. I was in a bad place at that time. I don't wish that on anybody

 

I've lived most of my life in a post traumatic disorder. There's a reason I wear a clown face. It's almost a joke to genuinely be happpy. I dont understand but i feel like there are others who feel this way too. So here we are no judgments, no shame. Let's talk

 

Mental unwellness is a problem. It doesn't make anyone less of a man. Or a woman. It just makes them human. But if someone can recognize that they might be having a problem, that's a step in the right direction. There are people that dedicate their entire lives to helping people cope with these issues. They take it very seriously and their only desire is to help people get better. Please, if you are experiencing distress, go talk to someone. It will NEVER make matters worse.

 

So i have PTSD - it comes along and kicks me in the arse infrequently - years after the event that caused it. I have a good life - happy loving family, no money worries etc - and yet yes it causes very very dark thoughts to come to the fore when it really kicks in. It can totally fuck you up big time - cudos for starting a thread like this

 

Talking is the first step, I'm massively ashamed of my mental history and the actions I have done
It does get easier over time and the correct meds and surroundings help alot
I have come to terms with the fact I'll be fucked up for the rest of my life. But I will deal with it and overcome
I now try to put A little back into the system by volunteering by volunteering my time to help others and listen to others issues
Feels good to make a difference, and to speak to people who you know are lost
You can always change

 

Well here it goes. I have had a really awful 5 years. I have had so many friends and beloved family members pass away, including my mom and godfather. Then 2 years ago my fiancé died in my arms. I still have flashbacks that take my breath away. Then my dad had a stroke. Then I had an injury that kept me in bed for 2 months. Oh yea, then COVID lol. So I’m not saying this for sympathy. I’m saying it because everyone has hard times at some point. Eventually something is going to come along and kick your ass. And you’re not alone. Bad things happen all the time to good people. People may look like they’re doing great and happy and you’re the only one in pain, but everyone is suffering in some way. They just might hide it better.

My philosophy has always been to just keep trudging on. Pick myself up again and again (and again), dust myself off, and push forward. I think a lot of people do this. Perseverance connects us as a race. But sometimes you, and I, need help. And there is nothing wrong with that. There’s no shame and it’s not weak. Because nobody is getting through this life without needing help at some point.

 

I deal with Bipolar depression, anxiety, and OCD so I deal with mental health daily. I used to volunteer at a rape survivors hotline and dealt with tons of other people that were having severe mental distress and had to refer them to somewhere local so that they can get the real he;p that they need and most times for free, but now I do not know where to refer people to but the info should be online if people search.

 

The worst pain for me is when by father committed suicide 14 years ago. I still remember the day. He was living at hotel about 5 min away and was heavy beer drinker. Went to concert one night and came back later that evening. My father was no longer at hotel. Next day I received call from family member that he moved to another hotel close by and killed himself. The last conversation I had with my father man to man was when I told him to leave my house since I didnt want his alcoholism around. Additionally what hurt me is my father didnt leave me any money he died. His reason was because I was finanically stable. I also was only one in family to deal with funeral costs. I have kept all anger built up inside.

Just recently lost my job over 20 years has been sitting on me.

I have always try to oush through it and keep a positive attitude on life.

 

Honestly, this thread hits too close to home to say anything even for me

 

I too have PTSD.. and always wearing a mask. I won't take the meds. They make me foggy. And I don't feel in control with them. But I feel ok. But weed makes it better. The wife asks if I'm ok every day. And she knows when I'm not. But I say I'm fine. And humor is a big deal for me lol. For those of you who know me. Just wanted to put my 2 cents worth in.

 

Just want to say to anyone on the forum, If you are down or feel alone. Don't hesitate to message me for a chat. It's not a easy subject to approach or a nice feeling and I'd like to help.
Maybe I can cheer you up

 

Even on here some of us may appear to have "the perfect life" but that isn't true either. There is no such thing! We all try our damndest to pull through one sorrow after another. I have my hiccups in life as well, but I'm going to stay around and make the best of it! The pandemic got us all a lil nutty so you are not alone!!!

 

Dive into a new hobby. That might give you something to concentrate on besides how fucked up you think you are. No offense.

 

My professional opinion...Depression and PTSD is like an addiction, difficult to overcome and the longer it goes on, the less able to overcome,
Depression and PTSD controls your thoughts and make you think differently like your mind is rewired, everything gets justified to do nothing because its easier and you get used to your new way of thinking...losing weight because you dont feel like eating is not a good thing

 

My mama taught me if I couldn't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all, so I can't talk openly about T1.

 

And this is why I started this thread. Sometimes an outside perspective on a situation can make you think differently about it. I wanna thank everyone for being open and honest. I battle the thoughts and feeling alone everyday, and now maybe I don't have to do it alone. If you can't be someone else's light maybe just sit in the dark with them until they are ready

 

Mental illness is not a moral failing. It is a treatable ailment, like tuberculosis.